April 5, 2011
What are some good black magic spells to keep these Evangelical Preachers out of my neighborhood?
A bunch of folks from some distant Pentecostal Church are out “witnessing” or something. I don’t know what they’re witnessing besides frustration and anger. Folks around here just wanna be left alone.
Anyway, I wanna scare these goody-two-shoes redneck fascist Christians away, but my spiritual technology is lacking…And a recent incident has removed me from my purple-purple state, rendering me less potent in regard to my magickal abilities! Help!
Related Posts
Filed under Redneck FAQ by 
Leave a Comment
Comments on What are some good black magic spells to keep these Evangelical Preachers out of my neighborhood?
Nail a copy of The Origin of Species to your door.
none, but there are always AKs
LOL! You actually think the power of Satan is greater than the Power of God?? Think again!!
Satan is a LOOOSERRR!
the best way is to read the bible
(at least in doing this you might learn something.)
and then show what it says in the bible.
so maybe they will learn something too.
There is NO magic white , black or grey….
But a sign saying
no solicitors religious or otherwise
works pretty well
Steal some holy water from the church.
Shit in it. Mix it.
Put it on your front doorsteps.
Sticky this note:
“This is holy water. Now cleanse yourself”
well, you could burn an inverted pentagram into your lawn.
Pull a penny from behind their ear.
uhh if it was anyone but a preacher, i would say the answer is a bottle of vodka and a loaded 12 gauge! but yeah i dont like you.
I don’t know about Black Magic, but if you start having neighborhood watches you can shoot them with bee bee guns from your roves.
First off, you better know if they have a good working lawn mower cause yours might tear up and yu need to borrow theirs. One of your neighbors maybe a supervisor somewhere and can help you get a job. Also, one of them might be a loan officer in a bank. Alright if they do not live in your nieghborhood and they are just preaching, telll them that you do not welcome them in your yard and that you just might shoot where they are standing at if they show up again. How’s that for a spell!
Put this in words on your door “Disciples of the Prince of Darkness” above a poster of OZZY OSBOURNE on your front door……….
I have a couple of signs on my door. One is a fish with the word Pagan written inside of it. The other shows a couple of people with books and a cross over them, knocking on a door. There is an X over the door knob, basically showing that religious peddlers are not welcome at my door.
You might try something similar to this. It has worked for me.
Good luck
Here’s a suggestion: http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc85/auntb93/JPEGS/JWCure.jpg