Just the other day my boyfriend, me, and some of our friends were sitting in the woods talking about the torture that some parents put their children through with names.

Like my friend Xes. She now goes by her middle name, which is Lucie.

The conversation started when Hailey said that her cousin Austin e-mailed her saying her just met someone named Hiy-Nia Lu. she was Asian. Anyway, her name is pronounced HI-NEE-UH. Like HI-NEE with another syllable. And Lu as in LOO and isn’t that like a British term for bathroom?

Then we all brought up weird names. I talked about my friend Xes’s name, pronounced Zez.

My boyfriend said something about how his cousin almost named her daughter Jezebel Satin. Satin pronounced Sai-ten. Like a messed up pronunciation of satan. Like cross beetween redneck and British pronounciation of the name. (No offense. just say it out loud. You’ll know what I meean.)
And Jezebel was an idol worshipping queen in the Bible.

Paige brought up the fact that some girl’s last name is Hooker. Her first name is Ima. Like her name would be I’m a hooker. It’s a pretty first name though.

Cody said that when he was visiting his aunt in Wyoming, he meet twins names: Jelliann and Ididya. Jelly-anne and I-deed-ya. similar to I-did-ya. disgusting right? Poor children. Melvin remembered his friend Joey Cox had an adopted Chinese cousin name Maia Cox. My-Uh-Cox.

Then at my cousin’s school, there are twin brother named Peter and Andrew Ness. They are avid track runners. Sports annoucments:

“P. Ness is ahead of A.Ness. Now A.Ness is right beside P.Ness!

Most teachers can’t figure out why it’s so hilarious.

Willie Stroker. Will he stroke her?

What are some bizzare names such as these that you’ve heard or that you know?
My little cousin’s babysitter, whom I’ve met once, has a teacher named Robert Whacker. Mr. robert Whacker.