Redneck Dictionary

Redneck and Y’Allbonics (Southern Slang) Dictionary

Have you ever wondered what Microsoft Windows would be like if Bill gates were a redneck? Well, we did. Here is what we come up wit:

1. Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
2. Instead of an hourglass icon you’d get an empty beer bottle
3. Occasionally you’d bring up a window that was covered with a heftybag
4. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of Ahh-ight or Naaaaa
5. Instead of ta-da the opening sound would be dueling banjos
6. The Recycle Bin in Winders XP would be an outhouse
7. Whenever you pulled up the sound player you’d hear a digitized drunkredneck yelling Feebird!
8. PowerPoint would be named ParPawnt
9. Microsoft’s programming tools would be Vishul Basic and Bishul C++
10. Winders XP logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag
11. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
12. New Shutdown wav: Y’all come back now, Yah hear?
13. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called “Cuz”
14. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
15. Microsoft Office replaced with Micrasawft Henhouse
16. Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver
17. Well, the first thing you know, old Bill’s a billionaire
18. Speadsheet software would include examples in inventory “dead cars in your front yard”
19. Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor Pull Simulator
20. Free eraser to erase the scribbble marks off the screen when using the NotePad

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AH: The thing you see with, denoting individuality.
Usage: “Ah think Ah’ve got somethin’ in mah ah.”

ALL: A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.”

AST: To interrogate or inquire, as when a revenue agent seeks information about illegal
moonshine stills.
Usage: “Don’t ast me so many question. It makes me mad.”

ATTAIR: Contraction used to indicate the specific item desire.
Usage: “Pass me attair gravy, please”

AWL: An amber fluid used to lubricate engines.
Usage: “Ah like attair car, but it sure does take a lot of awl.”

BAHS: A supervisor.
Usage: “If you don’t stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!”

BARD: Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”
Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”

BAWL: What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit.
Usage: “That gal cain’t even bawl water without burnin’ it.”

BLEEVE: Expression of intent or faith.
Usage: “Ah bleeve we ought to go to church this Sunday.” More on Learn ta Speak Redneck (Lesson 3)

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Ah: The thing you see with, and the personal pronoun used denoting individuality. “Ah think Ah’ve got somethin’ in mah ah.”

Ast: To interrogate or inquire, as when a revenue agent seeks information about illegal moonshine stills. “Don’t ast me so many question. It makes me mad.”

Attair: Contraction used to indicate the specific item desire. “Pass me attair gravy, please”

Awl: An amber fluid used to lubricate engines. “Ah like attair car, but it sure does take a lot of awl.”

Bawl: What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit. “That gal cain’t even bawl water without burnin’ it.”

Bleeve: Expression of intent or faith. “Ah bleeve we ought to go to church this Sunday.”

Cent: Plural of cent. “You paid five dollars for that necktie? Ah wouldn’t give fiddy cent for it.” More on Learn ta Speak Redneck (Lesson 2)

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BARD – verb. Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”
Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”

JAWJUH – noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck.”

MUNTS – noun. A calendar division.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts.”

IGNERT – adjective. Not smart. See “Auburn Alumni.”
Usage: “Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!”

RANCH – noun. A tool.
Usage: “I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh
bard a few munts ago.”

ALL – noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.”

FAR – noun. A conflagration.
Usage: “If my brother from Jawjuh doesn’t change the all in my pickup truck, that things
gonna catch far.”

BAHS – noun. A supervisor.
Usage: “If you don’t stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is
gonna far you!”

TAR – noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: “Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn’t git a flat tar in my pickup
truck.”

TIRE – noun. A tall monument.
Usage: “Lord willing and the creeks don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in
Paris sometime.”

HOT – noun. A blood-pumping organ.
HOD – adverb. Not easy.
Usage: “A broken hot is hod to fix.”

RETARD – Verb. To stop working.
Usage: “My granpaw retard at age 65.”

TARRED – adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: “I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred.”

RATS – noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: “We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats.”

LOT – adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: “I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair.”

FARN – adjective. Not local.
Usage: “I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed … must be from some farn country.”

DID – adjective. Not alive.
Usage: “He’s did, Jim.”

EAR – noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: “He can’t breathe … give ‘em some ear!”

BOB WAR – noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: “Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.”

JU-HERE – a question.
Usage: “Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys’ coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the
University of Alabama?”

HAZE – a contraction.
Usage: “Is Bubba smart?” “Nah … haze ignert.”

SEED – verb, past tense.
VIEW – contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: “I ain’t never seed New York City … view?”

HEAVY DEW – phrase. A request for action.
Usage: “Kin I heavy dew me a favor?”

GUMMIT – Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: “Great … ANOTHER gummit shutdown!

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Southern slang, or Y’allbonics, is a unique Southern language. To give you an idea, here are some excerpts from the Y’allbonics/English dictionary:

ALL – (noun) – A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: “I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck.”

ARE – (noun) – A colorless, odorless gas containing oxygen.
Usage: “He cain’t breathe … give ‘im some ARE!”

BAMMER – (noun) – The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayam.
Usage: “A tornader jes went through Bammer an’ left $20,000,000 in improvements.”

BARD – (verb) – Past tense of the infinitive “to borrow.”
Usage: “My brother bard my pickup truck.”

BARE – (noun) – An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”

BOB WAR – (noun) – A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: “Boy, stay away from that bob war fence.”

CHEER – (adverb) In this place.
Usage: “Just set that bare rat cheer”.

DID – (adjective) – Not alive.
Usage: “He’s did, Jim.”

FAR – (noun) – A conflagration.
Usage: “If my brother from Jawjuh don’t change the all in my pickup truck, that thing’s gonna catch far.”

FARN – (adjective) – Not domestic.
Usage: “I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed … must be from some farn country.”

FAT – (noun), (verb) – A battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat.
Usage: “You younguns keep fat’n, n’ ah’m gonna whup y’uh.”

GUBMINT – (noun) – A bureaucratic institution.
Usage: “Them gubmint boys shore is ignert.”

HAZE – A contraction.
Usage: “Is Bubba smart?” “Nah … haze ignert. He ain’t thanked but a minnit’n ‘is laf.”

HEIDI – (noun) – Greeting.

HIRE YEW – Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
Usage: “Heidi, Hire yew?”

IGNERT – (adjective) – Not smart. See “Arkansas native.”
Usage: “Them Bammer boys sure are ignert!”

JAWJUH – (noun) – The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck and took it to Lanner.”

JEW HERE – (noun) and (verb) Contraction.
Usage: “Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump’ny?”

MUNTS – (noun) – A calendar division.
Usage: “My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts.”

RANCH – (noun)- Tool used for tight’nin’ bolts.
Usage: “I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago.”

RATS – (noun) – Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: “We Southerners are willin’ to fat for are rats.”

RETARD – (verb) – To stop working.
Usage: “My grampaw retard at age 65.”

SEED -(verb) – Past tense of “to see”.
Usage: “I ain’t never seed New York City”.

TAR – (noun) – A rubber wheel.
Usage: “Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck.”

THANK – (verb) – Cognitive process.
Usage: “Ah thank ah’ll have a bare.”

TIRE – (noun) – A tall monument.
Usage: “Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime.”

VIEW – Contraction (verb) and pronoun.
Usage: “I ain’t never seed New York City … view?”

[Source]

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